Santana's Dreams
by PrettyLittleGleekster
Summary: A story that is a collection of Santana's dreams. Brittana based, but it will be less about actual plot and will focus more on Santana's emotional journey, written in her POV.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** This first chapter is just to set up the story, remember that. I'll probably update often when it comes to writing actual dreams, and those chapters will hopefully be longer. And, like all author's, reviews are always appreciated. But now for Chapter 1:

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><p><em>Let me be clear.<em> I'm not here writing out all my dreams so I can learn some psychedelic stuff or learn to interpret nightmares to help save all of mankind. I'm only here because of Brittany. I hate talking about emotional crap, but lately my feelings for her have just been really confusing, even for _me_. Especially after singing Landslide with her in Glee club. So a few days after singing the song I talked to Miss Holiday, and she says I should "channel my inner heart" or something. But, I mean, I'm Santana, the badest girl in this entire school. Think about what would happen to my rep if word got out that I'm a softie. Even worse, if people found out that I was in love with… with a _girl_. No, not gonna happen. Especially while she's still with Four Eyes McCripple. Really, I have no idea why she's with that loser, I mean look at me! Think of how awesome I am compared to how… well, you've seen Artie. Saddle shoes, sweater vest, and all. Gross. What does she see in him? But I digress.

So Miss Holiday and I discussed what to do to figure out what my heart is telling me and all. We were in the choir room thinking of ideas when we heard some jocks talking about their plans for that night. Dave was saying they should go to his house so he could beat them all at Guitar Hero of something, but Azimio replied "Dream on!" I guess this triggered something, because Miss Holly said that she read that keeping a dream journal can be really beneficial in interpreting aspects of a person's life and all that voodoo dark magic stuff. It sounds really lame, but honestly, I getting kind of desperate. I need to find out what my relationship with Britts really means, and maybe a dream can help me figure stuff out, or even get her and the dweeb to break up. So here goes nothing. I'm off to bed, but I'll be right back tomorrow morning to report any unusual findings in Dream Land. See ya then!


	2. Mario Kart Dream

**_Author's Note: Yay, new chapter! And luckily, this one is a bit longer than the first. Hope you like it, and reviews are always nice, especially if you want this story to be long. I'm thinking about 5 chapters total as of now, but your response could change that_**

**_ :)_**

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><p>Good morning, Journal! Wait- am I seriously talking like this thing is actually real? Whatever, I just had a pretty insane dream and it'll probably be best to write about it while it's still fresh. So here goes Day 1 of dream journaling. Ugh, that sounds even lamer writing it here than just in my mind. Anyways, let's begin. Oh, and one last thing, emotion is supposed to be a big part of interpreting these things, so I guess I'll try to remember what I was thinking at the time and put those in italics. So let's start:<p>

So it all began with me sitting in this weird go kart. Which is weird because I hate go karts. They always smell weird and they're just things stupid little things kids get in to pretend they're all mature and can drive. That's horrible parenting, letting them drive those. They think they're all that and will be these huge NASCAR stars when they grow up, when in reality it'll take them 7 years just to get their license after they turn 16, and their first and most likely only occupation will be sweeping floors. Why set them up for failure and disappointment? But for some reason, my mind put me in one for this dream.

I was kind of ok being in the go kart in this one instance, actually. It was really tricked out; a sweet paint job, a convertible-style roof, leather seats, flames came out of the back and it looked like it could definitely kill someone if it needed to. _Come to think of it, that's a little strange._ I looked around at my surroundings. There were all these weird colorful mountains and blue skies, and I was on a deserted black road, but not in a creepy way. Then I turned around and saw Wheels in his own tricked out wheelchair. _Maybe this was creepy._ But then I saw Brittany. It was far off, down the long road, but it was definitely her. Dancing around in a yellow dress, adorable as ever. I immediately tried to get to her- who wouldn't- but I couldn't get the cart to move. Then, this weird turtle thing on a cloud flew over to what I guess was a starting line. _Holy. Freakin'. Crap._ I was _not_ having a dream about Mario Kart. I don't even play video games- that's nerd central right there! And if anyone ever found out I had a dream about a stupid game like this, I swear- ugh, never mind, let me get back to the dream.

So the turtle cloud thing had the lights signal when to move. Red, yellow, green. I was still a little amazed that I was seriously dreaming about Mario Kart, but then I took off on a mission to get to Britt-Britt before Wheels could. After a few seconds, I came across a group of transparent boxes. Angry and feeling rebellious that Artie was ahead of me, I decided to run over one. Awesome move that was! I got these 3 red turtle shells immediately. Wasting no time, I hurled them all at Four Eyes, full force, and was able to pass him while he was still stunned. Now, like I said, I want to be very clear that I do not now nor have I ever played video games, and I never will. But I must have some awesome skills because I stayed ahead the whole race. Well, almost the whole race.

I must have been 15 feet away from Brittany. So close that I was able to see her full radiance and could audibly call out to her telling her we could spend time together without worrying about Artie. Well, I guess I spoke too soon. All of a sudden, I heard this strange noise. whirrrr. Whirrrrr. WHIRRRRR. I looked up, just missing the opportunity to avoid the attack of a wretched blue turtle shell. I don't even know where it came from exactly, but I know Artie is to blame._ I don't even care if this was just a dream, he will most definitely be hearing from me tomorrow._ The look on his face when he snatched Brittany away from me when I was _so close._ If I could kill him and knew I would get away with it….

But like I was saying; I was so close, so ready to be with Brittany, but Artie somehow still won, and was victorious as my dream came to a close. Come to think of it, this is kind of just like real life… maybe recording my dreams wasn't such a bad idea. But I'll still deny it if anyone finds out about this thing. But since it does have some purpose (even though I have no idea how this is helping me win Britt) I guess I'll keep writing. So see you tomorrow, hopefully my next dream will help me some more.


	3. Slushy Dream

**Author's Notes:Hey everyone! I know I haven't written in a while, and I'm sorry. But I'm back! I have the next chapter planned out already for the most part, so that should be up soon. That'll be the last dream, but I'll have at least one more chapter after that, more if I really like where the story goes. **

**Also, I noticed I have 0 reviews :( Fell free to change that at any time. **

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><p>What up guys?<p>

So I haven't written in this journal thing in a while. Which I know is fine with you because you understand that I'm Santana, I do what I want.

But still, the main reason for me not writing lately was because I've been trying to forget my dream. But first, a little back-story:

You should know that, honestly, I just can publicly proclaim my love for Brittany yet. But whatever. She's still with the loser anyways, and now I'm dating Karofsky. Well sorta. I can't stand to actually go on a date with him because he's so uninteresting, but as far as the school knows, we're _soul mates _(if you seriously believe in that stuff).

Still, I'm pretty much figured out in the past couple of days that, well… I am 100% in love with Brittany. And I hate that fact. Actually, here's where we get into my latest reoccurring dream:

This dream is short and simple, yet so, so horrible. It starts off like any normal day, with me and Britt talking in the hallway. Only, unlike other days, we're holding hands. Not our signature "yay friendship" pinky-holding, but complete hand holding. _Thinking about it now, it was kinda wonderful. I could get used to that couple-y stuff with Britt. If it wasn't for what happens next._

"Hey there, lady-lovers," Azimio says. Suddenly, everything is silent. All except Brittany, smiling and laughing, carefree and oblivious of what's going on around us. _Innocence. One of my favorite things about her, yet a huge weakness of her all the same._

What seems like a _mob_ of students suddenly forms around us, everyone with angry, almost blood thirsty faces. "Are McKinley High's newest couple thirsty? Here, let us help you out!"

Then it happens. Every. Single. One of them throws a slushy at us. All laughing, pointing, and ridiculing us to no end.

I've had this nightmare 5 times this week, each time exactly the same, yet somehow worse than the last. I know I seem fearless, and it's unrealistic to think that this could actually happen considering the students at school are morons and could never figure out how to form such a perfect mob, but still. Knowing something like this _could_ happen is terrifying.

This is why I can't come out. I'm just not ready to deal with this type of thing, even if Brittany is.

Or would be, if I could ever convince her to be with me.

When did my life become _so_ messed up? And I'm starting to think there's nothing I can do about it.

Well, now I'm all depressed, so I think I'll leave. 'Til next time Journal. Hopefully life stops sucking soon….


	4. Field vs City Dream

**Author's Note: Yay, I got reviews! And they have been taken into consideration in the writing of this chapter. Also, I've decided to make the story longer than originally planned. This will be the last dream journal entry, but after this I'll have more plot, actual Brittana interaction and talking, maybe some fluff. No promises, but we shall see. Also, I really want to work on writing longer chapters. Hopefully it all works out. Anyways, now for chapter 4:**

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><p>Journal, honestly, what is wrong with me?<p>

Falling in love with my best friend, fearing the school's ridicule, crying, dating an idiot I don't even like (than again, I did date Puck a year ago…) going through so much in the past few weeks and having nothing to show for it. There is definitely a problem here. But, after my dream last night, I'm starting to wonder if what I thought was the problem really was.

This was another seemingly simply, very pointless dream. It started off with me in a field. _Ew._ I guess it was a nice field, cool grass, a nice breeze, good scenery, and an all around safe feeling. Somewhere most people should be happy to stay. But as I wandered around, I caught a glimpse of something else. A city in the distance; bright lights, dancing, music so loud I could hear it even from far away. _This was somewhere I wanted to be._

Everyone in this city was happy. Like a freakin' fairytale, the towns people giddy and joyous, everyone happy except for me, watching from afar. _And speaking of fairytales, a slight clarification: I, like I'm sure you are too at this moment, half expected Brittany to appear in the form of a princess or Artie to pop up in the form of a troll, but that didn't happen. It was more realistic than that. Like a perfect life, but one that could actually be obtained unlike most fantasies._

So, like any sensible person would upon seeing this marvelous sight, I ran towards it. Or at least tried to.

I was just at the end of the field, though still a fair distance from the city, when I was stopped by a gate. There was nobody there, _which was good because I probably would have killed them to get in _but still, this gate effectively stopped me.

Then a sign appeared out of nowhere. _These dreams of mine are really weird. Just saying._

The sign simply said "Stop. This is your home, stay here." _Strangest sign I ever imagined up, but still._

So, normally, I wouldn't take no for an answer. I mean, this field was great and all, but after seeing the city with the aroma of sweet ginger, faces of people clearly in a tight community, and hearing my favorite song blaring from loud speakers, there was no way I would stay there.

But surprisingly, I did. I don't know why. But since dreams are supposed to relate to my life… it's pretty obvious that going into the city would be the equivalent to publicly confessing my love for Brittany. I mean, life with Britt, it would just be amazing. Before the whole "I love you" thing it _was _amazing. Even before we became "friends with benefits," time spent with her was like a dream come true. We really knew each other. She was the only person who always saw the kind, softer side of me (and who I ever _let_ see it), and I was the only one who always saw the wise and intelligent side of her. Even more than knowing that about each other, we_ complimented_ each other perfectly knowing these hidden characteristics, keeping our levels of sweetness and spice balanced at all times. Even better, the relationship was so unique, and it was a rare thing that really only worked with _us_, it's nothing like, say, Quinn's friendship with the dwarf. Way more real.

But, though the city was perfect in how it related to life with Britt, there was something keeping me from saying "screw that" to the sign. The people were incredibly happy and seemed to have a great, very established community, but that was the thing. I wasn't part of that. I was an outsider, and it honestly didn't seem like they wanted someone new and different to join them and change things.

Now believe me, I'm most definitely not one to follow established rules or be afraid to stand out (just look at me, I have no problem standing out), but there was something different about this one situation. The difference between field and city was too much, and I just could not get myself to try to bypass the gate.

I just couldn't.

So then, a pile of bricks and some cement appeared. _Again, my dreams are freaking weird, but I've pretty much stopped questioning them._

Well, I knew I was destined to stay in this field, so I did what seemed logical: I started building. _Which is, again, gross, but whatever._

This was only one dream, so it could obviously only last so long, but it seemed like I had been building for years. I was too afraid knowing I would have to fight to leave, so I stayed. I took the easy way out, building a wall around me, working so hard and putting so much effort into keeping everyone around me away from what I was feeling, hiding myself for so long.

And I'm not talking about the dream anymore.

Now, thinking of Brittany, I just yearn to be with her, so bad that it hurts. But the people at school aren't welcoming. The people of this _town _aren't welcoming. To step past the boundaries, to come out of what I've gotten so used to being in, it won't be easy.

But, even knowing this, I can't help but think it'll be worth it. People can change their opinions, become accepting, and I know that eventually, the reward with make up for everything else.

I hate all this emotional crap, but seriously, keeping this journal may have been the best decision I ever made.

I want to be with Brittany. I know that now. And yeah, people will talk, and try to make me miserable for a while, but, I'm starting to think that'll be okay in the long run. I _need _to make things right with Brittany, and I feel like recording these dreams has helped me realize that it's up to me to make it happen. Physically, I've been ready for this since the day I was born (I have no problem knock the teeth out of people who defy or insult me), but emotionally….well, I think I might almost be there.

But you know sometimes when you want something so bad, you throw caution to the wind and you just. Get it.

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><p><strong>Author's Note Again: I think this chapter has turned out the best out of all of them, and I'm pleased with it. And I hope you liked the emotion in it, I really tried to channel my inner Santana.<strong>

**Anyways, next chapter will be up in a few days. I haven't decided exactly what will happen, but you'll be able to read it soon enough :)**


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